orange juice [frog] (Read 423 times)

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Kuja was a bit taken back by the size of the juicer. For a moment he would stop, merely staring at the large device as his head slowly trailed upwards to the peak. His eyes would then shift with Marso's movements, taking notice of the large empty jug. It was as if they were stuck in some kind of children's tale. First the bird and the magical large orange and now this?

"Well, let's get this juice and go pay a visit to the person who hired us..." he would state as he readjusted his grip over the large orange. "Whoever it is has a lot of explaining to do... as to why I can't eat any of these damn oranges..." Sighing a bit, Kuja would strut forwards before beginning the climb to the top of the spiralling juicer. It looked pretty straight forward but just like before... a new variable would emerge.

From seemingly out of nowhere, a strange creature would appear on the steps before the dragon slayer. "Who dares enter my domain!?" the creature would inquire with a lisp and muffled voice. From behind the crest of his head, a small pink rat would emerge and point towards the large orange.

"Look boss, it's the orange! That orange looks mighty good! Yeah, let's take it, boss... we could eat that for days, boss..." The rat's voice was well, what you would expect from a rat, squeaky and almost nervous sounding.

"Yeah, let's steal that orange..." the yellow feces monster would reply as he plopped one step down towards Kuja. The beast's lanky arms would slowly reach out towards the fruit as drops of saliva began to freely flow from his over sized tongue.

"My turn to have some fun..." Kuja would state with a snicker as his body twisted a bit to the left. Now with his face fully exposed, the slayer would take in a deep breath as his cheeks expanded to comical proportions. Upon exhaling, a torrent of dust and sharpened rocks would escape from his lips, cutting a direct path into the poop monster and rat's bodies.

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"Lame." Ostensibly, neither surprise nor puzzlement surfaced as a result of the creature's abrupt and certainly unwelcome appearance. It was becoming clearer to him that yes, indeed, the entirety of the job request was little more than a set up. At the very least, the one responsible could have put more thoughts into the lines their strange creations were speaking; but, Marso had to wonder, what kind of magic were they using, exactly? Illusionary? It was proving to be vary more potent and versatile than that.

And then there were stones everywhere. "Yeap, that's what I was told they do," Marso stated as he watched with the jug still in hand. Neither of the two gross-little things were expecting that. However, the one clad in pink took to the middle of the yellow one's back, using every portion he could as a shield. Chunks broke away from it, and eye flew out and struck a bird, leaving it to plummet to the ground with an avian expression of shock branded to its feathery face. As Kuja's attact subsided, there was hardly anything left but that pink rat. It was clinging to a chunk of yellow, which idled on top of a step.

The rat didn't seem keen on moving at all, which prompted Marso to call up, "Okay. Toss that thing in. I'll catch the juice I assume will come out."

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As Kuja's mouth closed, his lavender hued eyes would latch onto the remains of the yellow feces monster. Letting out a light sigh, he would look to the rat for a moment before taking a step forward and punting him off of the stairway.

"I'll be back for you!" the creature squealed as it disappeared into the horizon.

Now looking upwards, Kuja would grab a strong hold of the orange and take a few more steps. Swinging his arms down for a moment, he would violently thrust them up as the orange soared from his appendages. A light smile would emerge on his face as the fruit did as he had hoped, landing in the middle of the machine which seemed to now be kicking on. A loud engine roared from behind the wall of the spire, followed by the sound of teeth grinding into the large piece of fruit. His lavender hued orbs would then spiral down with building, ending out at the spout where a mix of pulpy liquids shot into the container that Marso was holding.

"Finally," the slayer would mutter as he began the long walk back down the spiraling staircase. This mission was so odd, hopefully all that was left was to deliver the liquids and ask the contractor a few questions about just what the hell the two had been through. Surely this had to be a trial, some kind of test for the two. If not, maybe they had just fallen down the rabbit hole.

"So what's next?" Kuja would ask Marso as he dropped to the base of the stairs. "Is a dragon going to chase us or maybe a cloud will offer us a ride to this guy's house?"

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Oh, what? Something going normally? Nope. The juice that came out of the machine did so...

...

...normally, but then bottles exploded from the ground. Soil flew every which way. The bottled had riders. On top were beings that proved to be a flux of animal and human. These anthropomorphic creatures appeared along side glorious music. They were parting it up something fierce, tripping the light fantastic at every opportunity. Bottles explodes with orange drink, soaked the woodlands ahead of them. It was orange-juice-flavoured pandemonium.

One female deer-looking humanoid monstrosity was bathing in it as juice poured from the treetops all over her beasts and front that her bathing suit barely concealed. Marso had already taken a seat right on his sexy tush. Apparently, he didn't particularly want any part of what was going on.

It all eventually subsided. The only thing left was to deliver the juice. So, Marso departed. Of course, the house would randomly be somewhere in the woods. It didn't look like anything special. A house, pale green. After Marso knocked at the door, it exploded into wood bits right in his face. Standing in the destruction's wake were two, relatively small, furry creatures. One was pink, another blue. They floated there with their two antennae on top of their heads twitching every now and then.

"Psyche! Lookie here! Fresh OJ. Fresh OJ, Psyche."

"Oh, Keeto! What a pleasant surprise! OJ! Fresh OJ! You both did this for us?" The pink one, Keeto, snatched it right up and disappeared into the house somewhere.

"High quality! Fresh! Fresh and high quality! Fresh quality high and fresh like quality OJ!" There was a pause. "...MONEH!" After bills flew into Marso's face, the door reappeared and he was left there in a silence that briefly settled over the area.

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Kuja's eyes would merely widen as he stared blankly at what was taking place before him. This entire day was more obscure than every single odd event that had occurred in his time. He would watch the fauna dancing about for a while, not moving, a look of utter shock lingering on his face. "What in the hell... I STILL GET NO DAMN ORANGES!?" he would shout as he snapped out of his trance-like state.

As Marso left with the juice, as would he. The slayer would trail behind him until they had finally reached the cabin in the woods. All seemed normal with the quiet little shack, but that wouldn't last for long. With the exploding door and two odd creatures behind it, the boy's jaw would drop down to his chest. The screaming and throwing of the money, followed by the rebirth of the door would leave Kuja's jaw in the same location for several seconds.

"I don't even know what to say right now..." he would mutter as his jaw finally shut. "I can't tell if we were set up... or if we're part of some little kid's dream right now..." Kuja would stand in the same location, staring at the door for a moment before finally looking back to Marso. "Alright, well let's get our money and get the hell out of here... hopefully this is the end of the madness..."

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A tilt of his head and his sights scrapped along the ground before him. Jewels, those recently cast into his face, remained where they landed. Such suggested that at the very least, the money was real. Settling into a squat, he picked it up, sized it up with a suspicious eye. It wasn't transforming nor disappearing. "Looks real to me," Marso commented, and if such were true, then it was just another job, just a crazier one than usual. "

He rose back to his feet. "They were kinda cute. I liked them," Marso said with a nod. Shuffling through the bills, he split the funds up. "There's enough for you too, even." One hand handed half of the bills to Kuja, the other half-heartedly shoved them into a pocket of his. It was obvious what happened next. After the two found their bearings, all there was to do was return to their guild, or home, or where ever it was they were going after their glorious adventures making orange juice. Marso's time spent traveling was spent thinking of leaning against a fan or something and had little to nothing to do with the goings on of that day.

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Kuja would grab hold of the money and nod to Marso. A broad grin would form on his face as he counted the money, his head slowly leaning in with each jewel counted. Finally, he could feast on something that wasn't from the Earth. Almost completely forgetting about what had transpired today, the boy dropped the funds into the pocket of his half-worn robe.

The two would now turn from the oddity of a house, making their way back to their homes as it had appeared that today's work was complete. While traversing back to Magnolia, Kuja's mind was thinking of one thing... what he was going to eat. All day he had craved but a single orange which was out of character for the slayer. Typically he only liked things of a more bland or normal flavor... but seeing that large orange bouncing about in his head forced the boy to salivate. "Maybe one orange and a nice hunk of meat..." he would mutter under his breath as his mind drifted into the clouds. Hopefully nothing else would happen on the way home, as he was too concerned with his appetite. If anything else would come about, he would handle it with as much ferocity as possible... no one would stand between him and his food.

And so the initial adventure of the duo would come to a close. It seemed that their paths would remain close but only time would tell just how close they would be. The world was a rather cruel place after all.